We're Engaged!

We’re engaged!

This isn’t a polished, fairy-tale recap. We get into the week leading up to the proposal, the hard conversations, and the moment Brian almost backed out of marriage entirely. We also talk through the pros and cons of marriage for each of us.

Then we end with the full proposal story and how it all came together. Sweet, funny, and perfect.

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:00

You said, I'm somebody's little girl and I've never been married. And then she wasn't so elegant with this, but she goes, Since you f it up once, don't think I'm gonna f it up, right? Like I deserve to get married. She's crying. And she deserves she said, I'm somebody's little girl, I deserve to get married. And I was like, she's goddamn right.

SPEAKER_00 0:27

And we're back with the Harley Mullarkey podcast. There we go. Old dog new tricks. Still old. Still new.

SPEAKER_03 0:36

Yeah, we good. I like that.

SPEAKER_00 0:37

Uh yeah, we've been gone for a while, so uh it's gonna take us a second to get back in the swing of things. It might take you a second. I'm I'm a natural on the microphone. Uh we took a little break. One, because we're migrating our YouTube channel, uh, which we'll direct you to. Uh, it has a lot more fun stuff on there. We're gonna try and do some cooking content, uh, some of Brian's chef friends. Two, we're redoing our backyard right now, and there was jackhammering constantly outside our doors, so we couldn't record without noise. And three, I got this weird virus and I couldn't really talk without coughing for like four weeks. And if you're watching the video, Brian, I just mimed it. Brian mimed the entire uh reasons why we took a hiatus. Yeah. Uh so how have you been?

SPEAKER_03 1:27

Um, you know, I've been good. How you been, bitch? How you been, bitch? Oh, spicy. I like that. Okay, uh, I think I've been good. Uh I've had some ups and downs. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Uh I went to uh Nicaragua. Oh, you did? It didn't take you. No, no. Um uh father-son surf trip. Yeah, that was nice. With our friends. Um we've traveled a lot. We've been to Miami. Holy shit. Miami, New York, LA, Antigua, Bahamas, Bandor, Bandorgan, where did we go? Uh and then, and then out of the blue, out of the blue, we got engaged. Well, I was gonna say something before that. Oh, what don't you wanna you wanna say the engagement part?

SPEAKER_00 2:17

No, but one of the things that I did during our time off is I started a Substack. So I used to write on a blog.

SPEAKER_03 2:23

I did you just bury the engagement for self-promotion?

SPEAKER_00 2:27

I did. What? It's priorities. Priorities.

SPEAKER_03 2:32

Fucking I like priorities.

SPEAKER_00 2:34

Uh so yes, back to my self-promotion. Uh we'll take you back to fourth grade. Just we can cut this out. But No, no, no, no.

SPEAKER_03 2:43

I like this. This really meant a lot to me. All right. So back to fourth grade, her fourth grade. My fourth grade. It was still there was color and photography and and stuff was real. Like, but my fourth grade, we had covered wagons and yeah, everything that's black and white. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:58

Uh so my fourth grade teacher was Mr. Penicuff. He was amazing, one of my favorite teachers. He was actually a lawyer and hated being a lawyer so much that he went back to teach fourth grade. And fucking bullshit.

SPEAKER_03 3:10

Bullshit. He must have been a shitty lawyer, to be honest.

SPEAKER_00 3:12

I have no idea. But he was an amazing teacher. We were very close. Uh, my nickname was DJ in fourth grade, Danielle Jordan. Daniel Jordan, because there was another Danielle in our class. But in fourth grade, we started creative writing. So every week we had a creative writing assignment. And I love doing these creative writing assignments. I remember I would like write about just like weird shit, and I was like taking us on all of these world adventures. And every fucking week I would get a 98 out of a hundred on my creative writing uh essay. And you know what? It wouldn't have bothered me that much except Susie Strutner, who Fucking Susie Strutner! Who is incredibly smart and a very talented writer, would always get you always get a hundred. And I would ask him, I'm like, why did I get a ninety-eight? And she got a hundred, and he's like, she's just a better writer than you. Shut up.

SPEAKER_03 4:01

And I don't know if he said it exactly like that. Go round breaking young girls' hearts, doctor, lawyer, Mr. Fucking Pennycuff.

SPEAKER_00 4:09

And really from that moment on, also this shit that he would dock me for was like kind of crazy. Like I remember one time it was I had written, it was like this journey around the world, and I my flight path was wrong. Because I mentioned stopping in Africa on the way to Europe, and he was like, No, you would never stop in Africa on the way to Europe. I was like persecution. You would if you went the east, the other way. Anyways. Not east. My geography is bad. Long story short. Well, that you said you deserve a 90 day thing. But no, it's creative writing. Creative writing, you can make shit up. That's why I'm like, you're just finding ways to knock me down, dude. Anyways.

SPEAKER_03 4:46

She was bribing them. Maybe she was a little under the table, you know?

SPEAKER_00 4:48

So I took that to heart a little bit. And I never believed that I was like a good talented writer after that. And I always got like great grades in English. I, you know, got a perfect score on my English part of my SATs, but I didn't think I was a good creative writer.

SPEAKER_03 5:08

Yes. Perfect.

SPEAKER_00 5:09

Perfect.

SPEAKER_03 5:09

100%.

SPEAKER_00 5:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 5:10

Miss Note.

SPEAKER_00 5:11

It was like 800 out of 800. When I took the SATs, a perfect score was 2400. And so getting 800 on a section was a perfect score. I got, I think I got perfect scores on two things, and I didn't do very well in math, which is why I got a 2160. I didn't end up in Harvard or anything, just C Santa Barbara. Anyways, so I have not believed I'm a good creative writer my entire life. And I, when I used to write for my holistic Carly blog back in the day, I didn't really believe I was a great creative writer either, but I was a great, I was a great informational writer. Like I was a good science writer, but I didn't bring myself or my creativity into it. Anyways, so now that I'm back on Substack, I am writing more personal about my. Substack is a kind of new social media app that prioritizes long form content. So it's like everybody on there has their own kind of personal blog. For people who have attentions? Yeah, for people who have attentions. People who are tired of just like scrolling on Instagram.

SPEAKER_03 6:14

I would ask where to find this, but I don't know if I'm interested.

SPEAKER_00 6:17

Well, you made a you made an account to follow me, which is nice.

SPEAKER_03 6:20

I didn't read your latest one yet, but I'm going to. Okay. It's high on my list of things to do. Uh Substack. Yeah. Long form.

SPEAKER_00 6:29

Yeah, it's a long form social media platform, and I've been wanting to write on it for a long time. And during this hiatus, I really have poured myself into it more. And I'm bringing more of myself and my creativity and kind of my unfiltered consciousness into this. And your emotional vulnerability. And my emotional vulnerability. Like I'm sharing things about myself I've never would have shared in the past and maybe even haven't shared, you know, on this podcast yet. Um, so it's been fun for me, and it's healing my childhood wound of thinking I wasn't a good creative writer. Um and if you tell me that I'm not a good creative writer now, it won't penetrate because I'm a tough bitch now. I'm fully formed. Well, you know, you know you're never fully formed. Anyways, long story short, go check out my Substack. Beautiful. Yeah. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 7:13

So what So yeah, that's great. Um, what else happened while we were on our podcast? On the Harley podcast. I just got written out of everything.

SPEAKER_00 7:25

No, I just wanted to promote myself and encourage people to.

SPEAKER_03 7:28

I posted some cool pictures on Instagram.

SPEAKER_00 7:31

Encourage people to engage with long form content because it has been nice for me to read and write and use my brain. And I think that it's good for other people. If you are trying to reduce your Instagram usage, maybe go on Substack and read some long form articles. Follow interesting people. Rick Rubin's on there, Jane Fonda's on there. Like there's very interesting people you can follow.

unknown 7:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 7:51

Oh, I didn't know this. You have to go read some Rick Rubin articles. Instead of going to read the news in the morning, why don't you go read something interesting that Rick Rubin has written?

SPEAKER_03 7:58

Interesting. I did turn on the news for the first time in forever this morning. You know, you were up doing your meditating and sleeping in, and the kids and I are up this morning. And in the olden days, I used to wake up every morning and watch uh the Today Show. Right? Because you get a little bit of news, you get a little bit of entertainment, you get a little bit of gossip, you get a lot of those things went on there. I turned it on this morning, and if you know the state of the world like it is right now, I turned it off so quickly and put on some reggae morning music because I was like, I can't watch this stuff. This is intense.

SPEAKER_00 8:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 8:28

Right? So even though they're really delightful people and they're not hard-hitting newscasters, they're still telling a grizzly, a grizzly story. It's the attention economy. It's the attention. Oh, they just have to throw big news at us to keep us watching. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 8:43

But I think that's why it's more important than ever to support independent writers. And I'm not charging for my Substack at this point in time. Is this paid by Substack? Are we are weaning? No, but I do instead of going to read the news in the morning, how lovely if you got to read something that enriched your day. Because the news is not enriching anybody's day anymore. And it doesn't have to be to read the news.

SPEAKER_03 9:06

I used to read the news, the newspaper, old school, uh physically, but now it's all online, of course. Um, I used to read it in like 45 minutes. Yeah. I've got it down to about seven minutes now.

SPEAKER_00 9:18

Yeah, you you're a headline.

SPEAKER_03 9:19

Hits, hits, hits. Interesting. Hits, hits, hits. I read it because there's local restaurant news, there's some sporting news. You're a man about town. You need to know what's going on. I need to know what's going on a little bit.

SPEAKER_00 9:29

Um, can you share with the audience what book you're reading right now?

SPEAKER_03 9:32

Um, I am reading of several books, several large novels bound in leather bounds.

SPEAKER_00 9:38

I there's two that you should you should share with them. Two. Oh god, I wish I wouldn't ruin the name.

SPEAKER_03 9:42

One is how to be a better dad.

SPEAKER_00 9:44

The Daily Dad.

SPEAKER_03 9:45

Daily Dad. I think it's by Ryan Holliday. I want to give it to every dad in the world. You must have this book. The Daily Dad, it's one page a day, and it it kind of is my whole life's focus now. Is if you just do a little bit every single day, all of a sudden, now my book, I'm like, oh my god, I'm like all the way through this book. I'm like, I'm reading several books. I something I would never say. Daily Dad gives me one good piece of information every single day, and it's just brilliant. I I told myself this morning when I was reading it, I was like, I'm going to read this every year for the rest of my life.

SPEAKER_00 10:16

I love that. I bought it for you at this bookstore in Summerland and Santa Barbara, and I knew that you would like it, so it makes me so happy.

SPEAKER_03 10:23

Because my attention span is one page a day, and it's just really, really good and insightful. It's people who have been fathers, and most of it's a reflection about like don't fuck up the childhood. And if you did, here's how to get out of it. And it's just like the the littlest thing. When somebody reaches out and they put their hand out, you fucking take the hand. All right. You don't say, I don't have time right now, let's do it later. You don't do that, you fucking drop what you're doing, and you say, What else in life matters more than the attention of my children and you know, our bond? And there's so many, so many, so much good information. Um, I seriously I need to send it to everybody I know.

SPEAKER_00 11:01

Well, that makes me so happy. One, because it makes me happy that you love something about you, and two, it makes me happy how invested you are and how much you want to be a good dad. Like that's such a sweet quality about you.

SPEAKER_03 11:11

I think it's one of my highest goals in life. Yeah, that's really sweet, and almost makes me want to cry. Oh, um, and then another one is uh, well, I got one to learn how to deal with my kids, and the other one's how to deal with my woman. And this one just magically appeared, also. And I thought I would really would rub me wrong.

SPEAKER_00 11:31

Um, and it does, but it's supposed to, and it's called I think it's called How to Understand Women or something like that. How to understand a woman. It's by John and Julie Gottman, who are some of my favorite couples therapists, uh, who have been in the space for like 40 years now, and they just have really good stuff. So I saw I saw John Gottman promoting it, and I was like, Brian Lee, please read this. And he was kind of like, mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_03 11:54

We were not getting along at the time because she was acting like a woman and I was acting like a man. Yeah. And she was like, Can you please read this? And I'd kind of like stepped on her toe and she said, Out, and I said, Okay.

SPEAKER_00 12:07

And so I ordered it for him. And I was so pleased to come down in the morning and see that he was reading it. He had his pen out. And any any insights you've gleaned from this book so far?

SPEAKER_03 12:18

Um, I never read this book, but I probably should. Men are from Mars and women are from Mars.

SPEAKER_00 12:22

I tried to get him to read that one like two years ago.

SPEAKER_03 12:25

I it's that that just just the saying of that resonates with me so much because we're fucking different. We're just fucking different. I love the one. Oh, what I got out of the most right now is men have conversations side by side as if we're hunting the great bison or something, right? We're hunters and we like we talk, we joke, we do this, we do this. But women, they want to be standing there, looking in your eyes, which as a hunter, I'm scared of that. Like like a predator, I I look at my enemies across the the the aisle and we're shooting at each other, like looking each other in the eye. But our woman, we have to look them in the eye. Yeah, and it's a lot. Yeah, and it's just it just takes a little while for us all to understand each other. Yeah, and we'll probably never completely understand each other. But I just learned that you don't want us to solve your problems, you just want us to listen to your problems. And as a man, I think that's the most foolish fucking thing in the world. But as a woman, I'm I'm here for you. I I want to listen. Just listen. Just tell me everything. It's gotten better.

SPEAKER_00 13:22

He's learning.

SPEAKER_03 13:22

Oh, just learn to breathe.

SPEAKER_00 13:24

I did say I think this will be good for you. I think it will be good for our relationship. I also think it will be good for your relationship with your daughter because women are different than men. And Brian's mom, who I adore, acts like a man. She's like, she so I'm like, you just haven't had an experience of having to understand a woman. Like his mom, If she cries, if Danielle cries, the first time I ever fucking runs out of the room. The first time I ever cried in front of her, because I like don't really mind being vulnerable, and she and I are very close. She just completely walked out of the room. It was the most bizarre thing I've ever experienced in my life. Like, she wasn't trying to get a hold of yourself, woman. She wasn't trying to be rude. She didn't even say anything to me. I'm like in the middle of a sentence crying, and she just walked out of the room. And I was like, oh, this makes a lot of sense.

SPEAKER_03 14:08

A mentor.

SPEAKER_00 14:08

Yeah, this makes so much sense. Um, and so I think that it's gonna be really good for your relationships with women because we are different.

SPEAKER_03 14:16

I almost wanted to buy one for Sailor's boyfriend. I was like, I see you struggling over there. I know what she wants, and I know what you're doing wrong right now because I'm sitting here watching. I'm like, don't solve the fucking problems, Charlie. Just fucking listen. Oh, oh, I I hear what you're saying. I, yep, I get that. I feel that. Like, yeah, don't fucking give solutions, Charlie. Wrong direction. Oh, I didn't want to say his name out loud. Uh okay.

SPEAKER_00 14:43

Okay, so something else happened while we were gone. Just check.

SPEAKER_03 14:46

I made another one. Uh, what is the other one that I was reading? Oh, Trust Life by Louise Hay. No, I'm not reading that one too.

SPEAKER_00 14:52

Oh, I love that one.

SPEAKER_03 14:54

It slowed me down a little bit.

SPEAKER_00 14:55

Uh oh, how not to care what other people think of you, I think. Yes, yes. It's like a Japanese book. Oh, yeah. I forget the author. I'm loving that one. Okay, good.

SPEAKER_03 15:04

Okay, okay, then um, and fifth on the agenda today Substack, books, travel, uh, kits, health, our Tans. I got a tan in Nicaragua. Um, we something else happened. What was it? I can't remember. Drumroll. Okay, yeah, we got engaged. Yeah. Let's just say it. We got engaged.

SPEAKER_00 15:31

I think you probably saw it on the on the ring uh on social media. I did say this the first time we recorded, uh, but we're not releasing that. That I felt very obnoxious being the woman who takes 20 photos like this with their hand. But then once you get engaged, you're like, I gotta take the photos like that, or else it just looks like I'm having a day with my friends. So Damn girl, somebody really loves you.

SPEAKER_03 15:52

Look at that ring. Oh, baby. That's one of them uh them, what are them called?

SPEAKER_00 15:57

It's a marquee oval. So my mom had a marquee stone for her engagement ring, which I thought was kind of special. But I like, I don't like marquees that are super long and thin. I don't dislike them, just not for me. Uh and this marquee oval shape, I really fell in love with, and it's just very simple and a beautiful diamond. It's so beautiful.

SPEAKER_03 16:15

I love it. I was like, oh my god, I bet some people like l I bet somebody like lost a hand from that one or something like that. You know, if you ever watch Blood Down. Yeah, it's pretty horrible. I mean there's a but this one, this one was a lot is stores from uh third world country we don't know about.

SPEAKER_00 16:29

We won't get into that today.

SPEAKER_03 16:30

Okay, uh, anywho, it's a beautiful, beautiful ring, and it just shows how much I love you. Does it? Yeah, it does. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 16:40

Um well, do we want to talk about the week leading up to our let's just say how this really went down.

SPEAKER_03 16:46

Okay, eight months ago.

SPEAKER_00 16:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 16:48

Eight months, nine months ago, ten months ago, you and I were looking at diamond rings. We're contemplating this this this big romantic experience.

SPEAKER_00 16:54

Yeah, I've wanted to get engaged for the past like probably two years. I've been interested in it, but I I've like sent you ring ideas, I've like sent you things, but to go look at this ring, you found this jewelry store, and you were like, hey, let's go look at a ring today.

SPEAKER_03 17:09

It looks like a cool jewelry store because it's on the way to volleyball.

SPEAKER_00 17:12

And I was like, oh, that looks like a not in the right end. I didn't drag you into the jewelry store by your it looks like a nice custom jewelry store. You you found this place, you said, hey, let's go check it out. We tried to get it.

SPEAKER_03 17:23

Yeah, like I didn't like go on the internet, like I said, I drove by it a lot. I said, huh, uh, that that's worth walking in. Oh, I walked in by myself.

SPEAKER_00 17:30

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 17:30

Oh, and they have to buzz you into the jewelry store. Yeah. That made me excited.

SPEAKER_00 17:34

Yeah, so he I was very happy that he was like, I was like, oh, this is so nice. This is what happens when you don't nag your man, when you just kind of like plant little seeds of happiness. Like he listens to you, he takes you to a jewelry appointment, like, oh, I'm so glad I wasn't a nag about this. And when he got the ring, uh we picked out we picked it out together, basically. I great jeweler. I designed it. Great jeweler. We designed it together.

SPEAKER_03 17:58

Great jeweler. And brought in a lot of different diamonds for us. We learned all about the diamond trade and how it works and everything like that. And we gotta look at different ones, see the clarity and stuff like that. Great uh jeweler.

SPEAKER_00 18:10

Yeah, it was a very fun experience. And I I don't know if he brought this up or I brought it up, but I was like, yeah, I'm not in a hurry to get engaged. Like, I'm like, hopefully, sometime in the next like six.

SPEAKER_03 18:20

We shipped this little gem up to our residence in Oregon, saving on sales tax. If anybody has a residence in Oregon.

SPEAKER_00 18:26

It was like, oh wow, six months. Like, that's a generous amount of time. Okay, cool.

SPEAKER_03 18:29

Well, she said I had six months to propose. Yep.

SPEAKER_00 18:32

But I didn't give it in like an ultimatum kind of way. I was just like, I'm not in a huge rush. Like, hopefully, in the next six months. And you're like, oh wow, I've got six months, plenty of fucking time.

SPEAKER_03 18:39

I was like, all the time in the world, because I just want to make you happy. I am in love with you. I know I want to spend the rest of my life. She always says that. You guys listen this way. She always says, Let's spend the rest of your life. Because like, you'll die and I'll live a lot longer. And so she goes, I'll spend the rest of your life with you. Anyway, anyway, okay, nothing good. Okay, that's good. That's what you say. You did. Uh, and then you're like, I already picked out your headstone. I was like, Whoa, like I'm I'm going underground. She goes, Yeah. And she's like, uh, I would get you cremated, but no, I don't. No, I didn't say any of that. Okay, now listen. Okay. So she says six months, and I'm like, I'm a people policer. I was like, I I would do this. I would have done it like the walking out of the goddamn jewelry store. I would have done it right then, just to say, hey, here's your engagement. Now, wedding, that's a whole other thing that's a long ways down the road.

SPEAKER_01 19:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 19:31

But the thing that had to go through my mind the most was how do I communicate this to my children?

SPEAKER_00 19:40

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 19:40

That was my most stressful thing.

SPEAKER_00 19:42

Yeah. And I But they're not children. No, they're teenagers. My young adults. But he was, I would say he handled it in a pretty avoidant way.

SPEAKER_03 19:50

Yeah, I'm a Libra, and that is how we deal with our problems, right? I'm a Libra generation Xer, and that's how we deal with our problems. Yeah. We just try to ignore that's I'm an alcoholic. Libra. Alcoholic. Former alcoholic. Libra generation Xer, and that's how we deal with tough situations. Yeah. You get drunk and you try to act like it's not there.

SPEAKER_00 20:14

Totally. And so for six months, I was like, uh, whatever, you know, he's taking his time.

SPEAKER_03 20:18

No, but then it was like it was kind of like every little trip we took and every little thing. I know you were thinking in the back of your mind, like he's got to have something going on here, and this is where we had a little bit of a stumble, right? Is you can tell your story. She got word that I was just going to propose to her down on the beach on an afternoon walk, which would have been lovely, right? And she's like, uh, you know, you you plan a lot of large events, you do a lot of big things. I want this engagement to be special.

SPEAKER_00 20:45

I yeah, because I did hear get word from a few people that he had these like kind of last-minute ideas of how he was gonna do it. Like, not a well-thought-out plan. And I plan a lot of things in our life. Like, I'm kind of the planner in this relationship. So for me, the engagement, I really wanted him to be a planner and to like take over that kind of arena. Like it's not in the olden days of this relationship, you said I used to make hotel reservations. Yeah, you used to plan, you used to be very romantic. You'd be like, Oh, I booked us at Rancho Valencia for Valentine's Day. I got the romance package. I want to take you to dinner here. I want to take you here. Shut up. And you're very romantic in the moment now. Like now we'll be like walking by a nice restaurant, and you're like, let's go get some caviar, let's go get some like uh lobster, like I don't know, not lobster, but like you're like in the moment, you take me to do all these amazing things. But in terms of like planning ahead to surprise me.

SPEAKER_03 21:38

I put that on neutral. It's on idols.

SPEAKER_00 21:40

Yeah, that's not really something that happens.

SPEAKER_03 21:41

If you love to do it. And you're like, what if we? And I'm like, get it, girl. I say get it. Which is amazing, you know. Which is actually super generous and nice.

SPEAKER_00 21:51

It is super generous.

SPEAKER_03 21:53

Yeah, let's fucking go. Do I ever say no?

SPEAKER_00 21:55

No, you're very, very generous and nice. And I, you know, you not nobody's perfect, nobody has ever. Every single quality you want in them. But for this one thing, I wanted it you to plan. I'm like, I know you're capable of planning and I want you to plan.

SPEAKER_03 22:07

So I I heard, I heard, and this is why that book, what's the book called? Uh, How to Understand Women. Fucking try to understand women, is I heard this better be fucking good. Don't fuck it up. You only got one shot. It's like an Eminem song. You only got one shot, so don't miss a shot. And I was like, fuck. And now I was like, now I really have to plan some shit, you know?

SPEAKER_00 22:26

Yeah, he it put an immense amount of pressure on him. Even though to me, I was just like, hey, I just want to feel like you put thought into this, and then I'm surprised. Like that was my only thing.

SPEAKER_03 22:35

I thought thought meant spend a lot of money, do something over the top, rent a helicopter, you know, stand on a cliff, you know, something really amazing and intense with a little mariachi band, something there had to be like planning with your friends hidden, which is all the rage. It has been for a while. Is that now you invite all your friends and a photographer and family to come watch you propose? And then there's a party there. So there's one more, one more party right there. And I'm like, oh my god, this seems like a lot. That's what I said to myself. Yeah. I didn't say it out loud, it was just inside my head.

SPEAKER_00 23:08

Yeah, and I really, really never wanted to nag him about this and put pressure on him. Like, my statement was not to put pressure on him, it was to guide him a little bit so that the engagement was a happy moment. Like, if it had felt like, oh, he just pulled the ring out of his pocket because the sunset was nice, like I would have been disappointed.

SPEAKER_03 23:25

So I was trying to help us both comment, please comment uh and let us know is a casual walk uh worthy of a proposal.

SPEAKER_00 23:36

Well, it everybody's different. What is important to some people is not important to other people. And for me, the planning aspect of it added to the moment of me feeling loved, the effort and planning.

SPEAKER_03 23:46

Yes, yes.

SPEAKER_00 23:47

Uh so, anyways, by month 7.5.

SPEAKER_03 23:50

We are very fortunate. We do travel a lot, we do do a lot of fun things. That ring never came out of hiding. No, it never went on any of those trips.

SPEAKER_00 23:58

And about 7.5 months after Brian bought the ring, I was like, what the fuck, man? Like, what is going on? Like, what do you what's going on? And he was basically like, Well, there's one more kid that I need to tell before I'm gonna feel comfortable proposing. And I'm like, okay, well, fucking do it. Like, and and I think to me, I'm like, you built this up in your head to be this big thing that these kids are gonna be upset about when I don't think they are. Like you and I already lived together. We've we've told them that you got that your vasectomy reversed, like adding a ring to my finger is like child's play. Like, who gives a fuck? That doesn't change their life like these other things change their lives. So to me, I was just like, stop dragging your feet, dude. And to you, I imagine you felt the weight of the world on your shoulders.

SPEAKER_03 24:45

Weight of the world on my shoulders. Yeah. Because it's a big deal. It's a big it's a big deal. Uh, because it's not just saying I'm getting engaged, yeah, it's saying I'm getting married. I intend to marry this person. I intend to marry this person.

SPEAKER_00 24:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 25:00

Uh, and so yes, it was easier with a couple of the kids and then the other kid, and I have had not the best relationship for a period of time, but it's gotten a lot better with this last kid, and I was like, oh god, it just means so much. So anyway, I I it was it was a weight, a huge weight. And then so when I went to Nicaragua on the father-son surf trip with uh another crew, and we were down there surfing, I had one whole week to really just kind of introduce, yeah. Um and I was like, how am I gonna do this? What am I gonna do? And I was like, you know, I feel like I've really been you know giving so much of my life to to work, to the kids, to you, to this. And I was like really wanting to take back some ownership of who I was and what I was, and I I felt I'd lost my edge.

SPEAKER_00 25:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 25:48

I felt I'd lost my edge. And I was like going, gosh, I feel like kind of just vulnerable to the world. And I used to not be vulnerable at all to the world. I fucking I ran through the world. I fucking set the I set the world on fire. Yeah. I set the world on fire on fire. And I was like, where the fuck is that malarkey? Where is that guy? You know? And I was like kind of like really thinking about it. I was like, you know, what's going on? What's going on? This and that. So I get home. Yeah, and I lay down the law on a few things. I'm like, no more of this. I can't remember what I was laying the law down, but I just really wanted to define myself as king of the house. You said that I was too controlling. You are essentially. That's when the book came out. That's when the book was given, right about here. Oh yeah. Um I understand women came right about in this area.

SPEAKER_00 26:33

But you said it and you you didn't handle it well. You came in really hot, and you didn't you didn't explain like behaviors that I had that were upsetting you. You labeled me as a controlling person, and you said kind of some mean things, and then once I started crying, you called me a victim.

SPEAKER_03 26:49

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_00 26:50

So it just like nothing. I understood some of the things you were saying, and I agreed with them. I'm like, yeah, I do want you to put yourself at the center of your life a little bit more. I noticed that you, you know, allow your kids to warp your emotions so much. You get so upset if I'm upset. Like, I want you to stand in your own and be your own man, but there's a way to communicate that. And somehow it felt like I took the brunt of him not feeling his best self. It was kind of all my fault, is how it felt to me.

SPEAKER_03 27:16

Well, that's not how I intended it to feel, but that's that is how it felt because women are from Venus and men are from Mars. I haven't read the book. Um, so anyway, so those things kind of come about. We wind up having to go, we go to a trip in New York, a business trip and fun trip. And we're kind of we we've been we've been apart for like a week, week and a half, right? I'd been in Portland before that, and then in Nicaragua. So we had a little distance, and it was taking us a little while, a lot of a lot of stuff with kids, emotions, and things like that running hot. We were kind of getting, we were bonding again in New York.

SPEAKER_01 27:49

Yes, yes.

SPEAKER_03 27:50

And then we're on the flight or getting ready to get on the flight. We were in our Uber on the way to the airport, and I did not for all the people who thought, oh my god, this is gonna be the most exciting, uh uh podcast. Happiest podcast ever. It actually gets to it. It is just stay with us, stay with us. It's through the mud, the sludge, the vomit, and the shit sometimes that gets you to paradise.

SPEAKER_00 28:12

It is. And so the night before, actually, we were at dinner and we were talking about like changing your last names. It came up, and I I made a comment of like, yeah, I I think I'll probably add Harley Mallarkey will be my last name. And I saw him like recoil a little bit. I don't even recall that. Yeah, you did, and I was like, huh. And I but I had kind of just like clocked it and was like, we'll think about that later. And then casually while we're driving to the airport, because I just experienced my brother's wedding and having my dad at my brother's wedding, and I was like, you know, I know we're not in a hurry to get married, but I don't want to delay getting married forever because I want my dad to be like an active part of my wedding. Um, and my dad is alive and well, but you know, his lifestyle choices aren't necessarily lending to the longest, most vibrant life at this point in time. And I'm thinking that's just gonna be an off-handed comment where Brian's gonna be like, yeah, yeah, sure, makes sense. And instead he's like, What if we don't get married?

SPEAKER_03 29:05

No, no, no, no, no, I think I was a little bit more graceful than that. I said, I've been thinking a lot. And I said, you know, I've been thinking a lot about marriage and what it means.

SPEAKER_00 29:15

See, that's even worse than just saying, like, what if, like to say I've been thinking a lot, like that immediately that's makes someone's heart sink.

SPEAKER_03 29:22

Oh, well, I did it all wrong. Yeah. So anyway, so this is definitely where the book comes in. Um, but I I pulled the good old card. I said, what if we were like Kurt and Goldie? All right, Kurt Russell, Goldie, Han. Yeah, famous couple that have been together for 50 years or whatever, a long, long time, never been married, have kids, have family, mix family, mix this. And I dropped that card. How'd that how that one hit? Horrible. Oh, did it hit horrible?

SPEAKER_00 29:48

Horrible. Because not only I was already feeling very fragile because I felt like he came home and attacked me and basically said I was the reason that he wasn't his best self. And it was like the conversation left me really shook. I was literally like I mean, that is your perspective.

SPEAKER_03 30:01

That is not what I was trying to deliver, right?

SPEAKER_00 30:03

But I it left me shook, and I probably have my own abandonment wounds that it dug up, but I was like, Do you still want to be with me? Like after that's how I felt after the conversation. And literally that whole week, even in New York, I was like, something doesn't feel quite right. And I was kind of like, hmm, what tech company am I going to apply to to start working at again? Because which one were you going to? I was thinking Salesforce. Oh, okay. Yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_03 30:24

You're getting back to the business?

SPEAKER_00 30:26

Yeah. Wow. Because I was like, well, I don't know that this is heading the direction I thought it was. I better uh prepare my next move. So that's that's the place that that conversation took me to. And so then to get this, like, I what I assumed that we had agreed that marriage was like a given for us because of this engagement, to hear, I'm not sure that I want to get married anymore. After feeling that sensitive and raw and like exposed, I'm kind of like, I was devastated. I was like, what the fuck? Like now you're bringing this up now? Like, why didn't you bring this up in the past eight fucking months? Like, or before that, like before we bought the ring. And he's like, I'm not saying no. Like, I just I just want to have a conversation about it. So I was like trying to calm myself down and kind of share the reasons that marriage actually is important to me and why I do want to get legally married versus why I don't want to be Kurt Russell and Goldie Hahn.

SPEAKER_03 31:18

Yeah, I um I honestly, I honestly, I was, I was just okay. So what I said, some of the things I said was like, I was like, I already said the vows once and I broke them. Why would you even trust me to have these vows again? And I I think I have a lot of problems with the traditional wedding, to death to us part, to all of these things, to the vows, to the church, to the government, to all these things that go into a marriage, right? So I explained these things to you. This is very good for us. This is something we should have done eight months ago, a year ago.

SPEAKER_00 31:48

Yeah, but but like you know, you always tell me your timing, your timing is just bad. Your timing is just bad. Like that was horrible. Give me that falcon ring right now.

SPEAKER_03 31:57

So uh, but then I I'm just saying, I just I I I don't I obviously I I have problems with marriage. I broke one. I broke one. And when I took my vows, I was very I meant them. Yeah, it meant a lot to me, yeah, right? And because of what happened in that relationship, divorce was the best option for me. Yeah, right? Uh a clean start. So I was really reflecting on that and going, I just I sometimes don't look at people who are married multiple times. We're like, what the fuck are you doing? Like it's just like not right. Like you said, and we we talked about prenumps, which is huge, which is very important to talk about before you get too deep into that, to make sure that we understand where the finances are going, who's gonna have what, and what's going on with that. And I think it's it's a it's a great, great thing because if you can't discuss money before your marriage, you're not gonna be able to discuss your money during your marriage, or yeah, if your marriage happens to dissolve.

SPEAKER_00 32:56

Yes. Right? Um, and then And he did say he was like, I'll sign a fucking prenup with you tomorrow, like the same one we would sign if we got married, if you agree to not get married. He's like, it's not the finances, it's not.

SPEAKER_03 33:07

I will give you the ring, I will give you the ceremony, we can invite all of our friends, we can do everything. I said, I just don't I just don't know if I believe in the traditional marriage sense. Yeah, that's what I said.

SPEAKER_00 33:19

Good. Yeah, and it it's understandable. And what Brian, I think, didn't know is that I actually, in my last relationship, didn't want to get legally married either.

SPEAKER_03 33:28

Which this was some big information I had not received before. So this was this was very heartwarming for me. Go on.

SPEAKER_00 33:35

Because I do understand, like, my parents didn't have a good marriage, most of my friends' parents didn't have good marriages. Like, I didn't grow up with an example of like marriage being this positive thing. It did feel like a little bit more of a prison death sentence. And I did like the idea that you got to choose your partner every single day and you weren't kind of trapped in this marriage. But I think the reason that I didn't want to get married to my last partner is because I knew that it wasn't right. Like deep down, I had this unconscious, subconscious feeling that like he wasn't the stable person for me. And it was very smart that we didn't get married. I never asked him to, I never picked out a ring, I never asked him to propose to me. Like, I just we had been together for eight years.

SPEAKER_03 34:18

Eight years. And she said, she said she even pulled the curtain goalie card on him.

SPEAKER_00 34:23

And I was like, what? And now he's married. So it wasn't him. It wasn't him being like, yeah, I don't want to get married either. He was just like, sure, if you don't want to get married, I don't care. It was me. And when I met Brian, like a couple years into it, I was like, I've shifted when she first met Brian.

SPEAKER_03 34:39

Let's be real there.

SPEAKER_00 34:41

I've shifted how I feel about marriage. Like now that I really am seeing this person as my forever person. Um as long as he lives.

SPEAKER_03 34:50

Until he depth or as long as he lives. Until death does he part with it.

SPEAKER_00 34:54

You never know. You never know what's gonna happen in life. Um, but I that I see myself having a child with him, that I see him being this person that I want to be with as long as we can be together. Like, I did want kind of the container of marriage. And I've had a couple like spiritual people that like our astrologer and my Reiki person who have been like, marriage will be really good for you. Like you've been through a lot in your life. There's been a lot of unsettling things, and there's something that really is sacred and spiritual and safe about the container of marriage, and something about the container of marriage that really will allow your like nervous system to relax. And I don't know, container is a sexy word that I can look for another word. But that it's something it's something you're allowed. Sure, a house. It's something you're allowed to want. I'd rather live in a house than a container. Okay, it's a house. A marriage is a house. An igloo. Sure. Whatever you want. Whatever you want to call it, honey. An A-frame house. I've always wanted to live in a house. It's our marriage is an A-frame, an A-frame house. Okay. And it gave me permission.

SPEAKER_03 35:55

Okay, shut in Ireland. Like, what is a castle in Ireland? That'd be cool. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 35:59

Not a big one, just a really person saying that this would be settling to my nervous system, like, gave me the permission to kind of want that in my dynamic with Brian. Because Brian, from like literally the first couple weeks I met him, was like, yeah, I'll have a fourth kid with you. Like, no big deal. But he was like, just trying to get laid. But he was like, I will never get married again. Like he did say that at the beginning. And I did say that. Yeah, it was something that like evolved over time where he was like, you know, our relationship is so different and so meaningful to me. And if that's important to you, like I will.

SPEAKER_03 36:29

I just thought I was an NBA basketball player for a while. I'll put a baby in you like that. That was what I was doing, right?

SPEAKER_00 36:35

Yeah. Uh so yeah, anything.

SPEAKER_03 36:39

So there was talking about all these things, and it's really fucking good. Like, I thought that for her to tell me the story that she never wanted to get married to her last partner, I was like, wow, that's impressive. Like that's wow. I, you know, I made me feel special, right? And like, like I see myself as this partner, but the one the kicker that really got me, really got me, knocked the wind out of me in a good way, was she said, You have a daughter. Do you envision her getting married one day? And I was kind of like, Yes, I do envision my daughter getting married one day. I would like to, you know, walk her down that aisle of the ceremony that I don't like. Um and you said, I'm somebody's little girl, and I've never been married. And then she wasn't so elegant with this, but she goes, Since you fucked it up once, don't think I'm gonna fuck it up, right? Like, I deserve to get married. She's crying. And she deserves, she said, I'm somebody's little girl, I deserve to get married. And I was like, She's goddamn right.

SPEAKER_00 37:39

Well, it's just emotional. But I think the other thing that I also said, I was like, you know, your kids don't have your kids like us don't have the best view of marriage. Like they didn't watch their parents' marriage work out, they didn't watch their parents happy together for the last couple years that you guys were together. And are we going to, out of fear, say, yeah, fuck marriage. It's all marriage is fun. Fuck marriage. I'm getting t-shirts made up. We don't believe in marriage either. Or are we, we're two people who are really committed to each other and we're committed to our own growth and we're committed to, you know, being madly in love for the rest of your life. And why don't why don't we get to be the example of what a marriage can be? Like, why can't we be the positive? And we get to make it our own. We don't have to say till death do us part if we don't want to.

SPEAKER_03 38:25

We don't have to we'll say until death to you part.

SPEAKER_00 38:28

We don't have to get married in a church. Like, we don't have to have a traditional ceremony, we don't have to do any of those things. And we don't really have to get the government that involved. Like, yes, it's a government license that you get, but when you get a prenup, you leave the government more out of deciding like how things will go if you split. And so you can make marriage your own and you can make it something really special. And to me, it does feel like a deeper commitment and it does make me feel safe. And then I looked up all the you know legal reasons why marriage is good. And uh I also reminded Brian that it would give him some tax benefits, and we wouldn't have to pay the state tax.

SPEAKER_03 39:04

If your man is a little hesitant and just go, hey, you there is a lot of tax benefits to being married, right? If you have relative, you know, your older relatives, if they die and you need money, you can get tax shelter that way too. Things to look at, you know? Unless I was like, goddamn, girl, I said you were doing your homework now.

SPEAKER_00 39:22

So uh yeah, there's a lot of different like legal benefits to being married. Like if your partner's in an ICU, if you're just the boyfriend, girlfriend, they can deny you entrance. You have like uh medical power of the city. If your partner goes to jail, you can't have a coach. Oh, is it unless you're married?

SPEAKER_03 39:39

I couldn't have sex in jail. I mean, it was fucking a lot. I was like, shh, I'm just shhh this is my thing now.

SPEAKER_00 39:45

Shh, I said I fucking hate it. I'm like, please don't shush me ever again.

SPEAKER_03 39:50

I'm like, I'm I'm processing this. I'm you've done a great argument. I'm processing, I'm coming to terms with this, I'm processing all of this. Then we were doing all right. You know, every once in a while you're like, how long is this processing gonna take? Yeah. I'm like, you had a very good argument. And so it was last week. It was Thursday. I woke up like this, my eyes popped open.

SPEAKER_00 40:12

I was like, oh, just for context, we had this conversation Wednesday evening. Yeah. So Thursday morning. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 40:18

I had decided, fuck it. I wrote, I I got up, I journaled, I said, you're standing on the edge of a cliff, right? Your whole spirit world, your family, everyone is like cheering for you. You've got to take the jump. You were hesitant about it. I never actually was hesitant when I was a kid to take a jump. I jump off the hot the tallest stuff always. Anyway, I was like, I'm standing up there, everyone's cheering for me. I can do this, I can do this. Take the plunge, Malarky, take the plunge, and I plunge into this idea. And I wrote wrote this down. So um it goes down like this.

SPEAKER_00 40:48

I call it the candle. Wow. What about the candle?

SPEAKER_03 40:50

Oh, and then I I had a match and I was lighting this candle. There's three of them, and I just it was early in the morning, like six o'clock, and I was having my coffee brewing right there, and I was like, I was lighting the first one. I was like, if I can light all three of these, I'm gonna do this idea. And all of a sudden I was like, lighting, lighting, and third one, my fucking fingers are starting to burn, starting to burn, starting to burn. And I I like do that, and I like, oh, it didn't light. And then I looked back and it lit. And I was like, there it is, there it is. So full, full a little later in the morning. Uh I call I text her. Actually, I called her brother and sister, sister-in-law, and I'm like, I got a fucking plan. I said, Don't text me back. She fucking looks at my phone all the time. She'll see that we're I'm communicating with you. But I said, here's the plan. Get everyone involved. Right? Don't fucking call me back. Right? Uh so we have to go to LA, right?

SPEAKER_00 41:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 41:44

And we have to go to LA for a food and wine festival.

SPEAKER_00 41:47

Carlos is No Kid Hungry event.

SPEAKER_03 41:49

No kid hungry. Carlos is flying down from Oregon. We've got a bunch of chef friends there, all this stuff going on. That's events on Saturday night. We have a great weekend. The next morning, we're up in LA. Her brother and uh sister-in-law were had gone to your dad's house in Newport Beach, right?

SPEAKER_00 42:05

They were on their way home from a wedding in San Diego, so we were both coming from Australia.

SPEAKER_03 42:08

Oh, they were they they reached out to her, wink, wink, wink, like a lot of planning had already happened. Winked out and they're like, Hey, uh Danielle, why don't you swing by and have lunch at Hal's today on Sunday, right? Uh on your way home. And she goes, I don't know, Brian's gonna be pretty tired, he probably doesn't want to, you know, whatever. And uh I don't know. And then Me being considerate of you. Me, yes, you being considerate of me. I was like, Oh, you know what? It's kind of rainy today, it's shitty. I wanted to go on the boat, but let's fuck it, let's stop by and say hi. And they're like, Well, we saw you're with Carlos. What Carlos there? We had to get Carlos there. And they're like, Why don't you bring Carlos? And she goes, No, he can't come. He can't, he can't make his flight. And Carlos is like, oh my god, my flight's delayed. I'm like, ha ha.

SPEAKER_00 42:52

They were better at acting than this because I'm a detective and I didn't know. So fucking good.

SPEAKER_03 42:57

So fucking good. So we're cruising down. I have to be there at 11:30. We pull into the driveway, we pull in front of the house at 11:34. Boom, nail it. All systems go. I got the ring stashed in this little thing over here. So you're saying, what the fuck is the plan? Well, four years ago when we first were four and a half. Four and a half years ago, when we first met at the Huntington Beach Food and Wines Festival, sassy little bitch in her little crew were like talking to us, my brother James and I, at and we were hawking our oil chef's life, and she's like, Oh, you're like a top chef or something. Like, I don't watch that shit. Like, just like a lot of shit talking. That was when the big like, hey, are you gay question came up, right? And I was like, Oh, take me home and I'll show you how gay I am, right? And so we wound up going back to childhood house where she was living with her dad at the time, right? Um, and I was uh we went in there, my brother James and I were teaching our dad how to gamble on horses, her and her friends were partying, it was her birthday weekend, and she every once in a while she'd walk by and like make out with me, like in front of her dad. I was like, I was like, Oh, freaky girl, like I'm I'm digging this, right? Anyway, somehow we wanted Up in a childhood bedroom, right? Yeah, and we're laying on the bed and we're making out, right? And her friend that lives in Santa Barbara that she was in college with one of my best friends in the world, yes. Opens the door and she says, Hal, her dad, Hal's not cool with this. And we're like, Oh shit, we're fucking little teenagers, we just got busted. We like jump up. I'm like, I'm almost 50 years old. I'm like, oh, this is hilarious, right? We go back outside. Hey Hal, what's going on? Sorry about that, blah blah blah. Everything, we wind up leaving, she throws my phone number in the garbage, and the romance is over.

SPEAKER_00 44:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 44:32

Right? Next day she digs it back out.

SPEAKER_00 44:35

My dad did it, dig it back out.

SPEAKER_03 44:37

Dad digs it out. Well, whatever, whatever. We wind up here. Anyway, we pull up to Hal's house last Sunday, right? We walk in and everyone's hi, what's going on? Good to see you, blah blah blah. Her her uh Jensen, her dad's wife is there, uh, Larson and Sarah, and Carlos and I, right? And everyone's kind of talking and this and this and this. Well, the plan is like Hal Hal happens to be sitting in front of childhood bedroom, right? And I'm like, Hal, get the fuck out of the childhood bedroom, right? And then Jensen starts giving her a tour of the garden. I'm like, shut the fuck, what's going on here, right?

SPEAKER_00 45:08

So anyway, showing me every plant she's planted and like.

SPEAKER_03 45:11

Eventually, eventually, everyone kind of goes to the kitchen and leaves Danielle alone. And so I I grab her and I go, hey, I take her into the childhood bedroom, right? And we get in there, and I like kind of snuggle up by, hey, remember four and a half years ago? Yeah, this and this and this.

SPEAKER_00 45:28

He's like, it looks a little different. And he's like, maybe the baby wants to be made in here, and he like shuts the door.

SPEAKER_03 45:32

Maybe we need to make the baby in the childhood bedroom.

SPEAKER_00 45:35

Oh, this is this is like this is and he shuts the door, and I'm like getting uncomfortable because I'm like, my whole fucking family's right outside the door. Like, don't shut the door, like, don't start making out with me in here. The back curtains are open. Like, what are you doing? At that, at that point. And then, and then at that point, there's a knock on the door. So I'm like, this is so awkward. Like, my brother or dad is like knocking on the door again, and we're like making out in here. Like, what are you doing? And we I open the door, Brian opens the door, and it's fucking Sally. Oh, Santa Barbara! And Sally lives in Santa Barbara. She has a one-year-old child, she's pregnant, and like I haven't seen Sally in like a few months. And we were just kind of talking about four and a half years before. So I was so shocked, so surprised. I was like, Did I just time travel back to four and a half years ago? Am I hallucinating? Like, what the fuck is Sally doing here? Like, Sally, like once I saw her, I'm pretty sure I immediately started crying because I'm just like, what the hell? And then the door is slammed because No, no, no.

SPEAKER_03 46:28

Sally said, Hal's not cool with this unless you make her an honest woman. I wrote that line myself.

SPEAKER_00 46:36

Sally would never say that otherwise.

SPEAKER_03 46:39

That's an old man thing. It's an old person thing. Anyway, and closes the door. And Danielle just looks at me like she has no idea what's going on. I get down on my knees. I'm I'm pretty shook at this point, too. And I'm like, fuck it. Let's do it. Will you marry me? I think that's- I think he said, Will you marry me? I said, fuck it, let's do it.

SPEAKER_00 46:57

I think he said, fuck it, let's do it. I don't think he asked me any questions, but I was happy either way.

SPEAKER_03 47:02

She was shaking, she had the ring. We opened the door. Her friends were a little late. We opened the door, but let's just imagine they weren't. And all of her friends.

SPEAKER_00 47:11

No, it was kind of better that way because I think I saw Sally and I was so excited to see Sally, and like Carlos and Sarah were there. So I was just happy with that. And then all of a sudden, you guys are like doing the streamers, and then everybody else comes through, and it was like a little bit of a little bit of a little bit.

SPEAKER_03 47:23

We had everyone hidden in the garage.

SPEAKER_00 47:25

All my best friends from that live in Newport, uh, which is where I grew up. And yeah, I was just so shocked again and so surprised and so happy. Like it was so fun to be in my childhood home with all my childhood best friends. Sabering Champagne, by the way, I'm really good at that.

SPEAKER_03 47:40

Sabering Champagne.

SPEAKER_00 47:41

Uh we we got her so good. We got her so good. Yeah, I've never been so surprised. And he planned it. I planned it. He planned it and he surprised me. It was just the fucking idea.

SPEAKER_03 47:50

I was like, why not do it in the childhood bedroom? Like, how how funny, corny, crazy is this? And uh Lars and Sarah, how the whole crew helped me pull this off, and it was brilliant.

SPEAKER_00 48:01

It was amazing. And see, it wasn't I I didn't want some grand, expensive gesture. I just wanted something thoughtful.

SPEAKER_03 48:08

And you know what? The fact that it wasn't grand and over the top, and we just had takeout food and we had some champagne and some streamers, it was so perfect. It's exactly the way exactly what it should have been.

SPEAKER_00 48:19

Yeah, it was.

SPEAKER_03 48:20

And then coming to find, right? Big party, happy, everyone's having a good time. I had personal conversations with all three of my children, and they all were like, Okay, cool. Like nothing, like like nothing, nothing, no drama, which was amazing, which is exactly what I wanted. But uh, she was like, Oh, maybe you built that one up in your head a little bit too much. Yeah, I mean, like, kick a guy when he's down or kick a guy when he's up, because I was really high at that time.

SPEAKER_00 48:43

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 48:44

And here we are.

SPEAKER_00 48:45

Here we are, and it was, you know, everybody's like, How was your first week of being engaged? And I was like, it was very nice. It was very nice to look down at my finger and see this beautiful ring on it, and to be with the man that I love and know that you're like, But we had one kid with strep throat has agreed to marry, but yeah.

SPEAKER_03 49:00

Well, another kid was doing three things.

SPEAKER_00 49:01

One kid had strep throat for three days, we finally get him back in school, the other kid's sick, and then Brian has some like stomach issue, stomach flu thing.

SPEAKER_03 49:09

Oh, it was it was not the most romantic. But you know what? Everyone was getting along.

SPEAKER_00 49:14

Yeah, everybody was getting along.

SPEAKER_03 49:15

It was the it was all happy and working in the same. We're all sick and miserable, but everything was working out.

SPEAKER_01 49:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 49:20

So we fucking made it. And we're like, let's make a podcast and tell the world about that. So that's what we just did. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 49:26

Thanks for listening. We missed you guys. That was it. Yeah.